Happenings

Real life scenario, brought to you in play form. Considered by some to be a fable dealing with moral convictions in the face of technology of your "typical" American young adult.

The scene is set in the main hall of Hochstetter Hall at the University at Buffalo. It is about 7:45 at night, and the author is en route from his physics lecture to his car. The hallway is relativley empty, except for two girls, girl #1 and girl #2. Girl #1: Orange faux-tan skin, jet-black dyed hair. She is wearing leggings underneath a cutoff denim skirt, as well as a sweatshirt with the normal collar cut off, as to expose her orange shoulders and loose bra straps. Her sunglasses remind me vaguely of the compound eye of an insect, spanning from mid-cheek to lower-forehead. Placed in her right ear is a diminutive pink Bluetooth headset, wirelessly connected to her pink Motorola Razr phone. Girl #2: Essentialy identical for all intensive purposes, but without a headset and cellphone (both most likely not visible.)

Girl#1 (Into phone, loudly, Long Island accent): So I think I did OK like there were a couple questions on like theories and stuff but like I dunno, I think I did pretty good cuz I didn't like study or anything. (Phone chatter, through a small, tinny speakerphone.) I KNOW OH MY GOD THAT IS WHAT I THOUGHT and like why is he going to ask THAT question if we didn't ev-- Oh, OK. Yeah I'll be there in a few minutes.

Girl#2 (To girl#1, but a few steps ahead, raspy voice): Why do you have to talk to loud into that thing?

Girl#1 (Pulls device from ear, makes a wet "pop"): Cuz like i'm never really sure if anyone can actually hear me on my bluetooth!

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So this girl was LOUD. I mean really fucking rude and in-her-own-world loudness. I can see only one single situation in which one of these ridiculous Bluetooth headsets is justified (barely.) That would be whilst driving your car. I say barely justifiable because using a cellphone while driving reduces your ability to drive safely regardless of whether or not your hands are fumbling around with the phone. Not that most of us haven't done it already, but I don't consider myself or most people I know to be those compulsive phone users in the car.

But I was really hoping that after the Sabres killed the Islanders in the quarterfinals last week, that maybe they would take their entire population of slutty, brainless girls that go to school here back to Long Island. But tuesday night I was sadly reminded that this could never have happened.

I was going to make this entry of a bunch of short little babbles about all this funny and other non-funny but interesting other crap that has been going on, but as usual I took off with one idea in a lengthy entry, so I am just going to cut it off there.